Cotton Candy

It just dawned on me....

2007-03-19T03:27:57Z

that I didn't post pictures of my first pair of pants! How much do you hate me right now?? :)

yeah yeah.

Pants II

2007-03-18T23:21:37Z

Second pair I made, lovingly described (by Ben) as "business hippie" :

jadedsurrealism @ 2007-03-18T17:47:00

2007-03-18T21:47:57Z

My dad thought lincoln would look better with shades...........

while i'm in the picture mood...

2007-03-16T14:28:51Z

ben's new tat. The moon is new, the sun and the vw stealie are old, but he got them touched up after this pic was taken.

Second new tat. Dandelion on his leg.

Puppy Breath

2007-03-16T12:29:59Z

We went and visited Ben's puppy last night. He gets to take her home in two weeks. He wanted to name her Savannah, but changed his mind and said "What should we name her... What should I call her.." (hehe, he's thinking about us as a couple) so I told him to think of a song that means something to him or that he likes a lot and he was coming up with all these Grateful Dead songs like Sugary and Althea, and I said "Why don't you call her Scarlet?" and he was like "yeah, I like that, and her middle name can be Begonias..." She's the cutest out of the litter and the smallest. Pitt Bull, Boxer, Lab, and Cocker Spaniel.

"If we can get through this, I know we can get through anything..."

2007-03-15T13:25:03Z

I found out some shit... Ben lied to me about some stuff, but we're getting through it. I hate it. He's doing a good job of making me feel better though. He said that if we can get through this, we can get through anything... and that I'm the best thing that's ever happened to him. I love him. I asked him how he'll know when he loves me and he said that he'll be watching me do something and it will just hit him like "this is the girl I want to have my babies." I asked him if he's thought about this, and he said that he thinks about me all the time. I'm really happy with him. I mean, truly happy.

gayyyyy

2007-03-15T12:59:56Z

Strange Questions....
Be ready to laugh!
This may just be the most random survey you've ever taken!!

1. What is your best friend's Dad's name?
ed

2. What body part do you hate?
my right boob.

3. Who was the hottest teacher you ever had?
mr. vogel

4. Have you ever made out in a movie theater?
uh... I think so... its so expensive that I usually watch the movie though. :)

5. What body part do you wash first?
my hair. I wash it, put conditioner in, then shave my legs and rinse the conditioner. When I actually start washing my body, i start with the pits, ya dig?

6. Do you have any piercings?
ears, belly button, labret

7. Do you have any tattoos?
uh huh

8. Is your driveway steep?
no

9. What's your favorite flavored Pringles?
original flavor.

10. Have you ever been tied up?
of course

11. What was the worst thing you ever got grounded for?
probably smoking.

13. Have you ever had two dates in one night?
nope

14. How many times have you been cursed at?
you're supposed to keep track?

15. Which shoe do you put on first?
I don't know

16. How old are you?
21

17. Have you ever been to a gay bar?
no, but I hope to someday.

18. Have you ever had any Friends with Benefits?
yeah...

19. Is there one thing all of your love interests have had in common?
homosexual tendencies, unfortunately

20. Did you French kiss before you were 16?
yes

21. Have you ever been cow-tipping or snipe-hunting?
hehe, nope

22. Who is the last person you usually think about before you fall asleep?
my darling benjamin

23. Have you ever had a song written about you?
no

24. If you had to choose to not ever wash your bed sheets again or not wash your bath towel again, which would you choose?
sheets

25. Have you ever found anything in your parents' bedroom that was questionable?
no... sometimes I go grocery shopping with my mommy and she buys this contraceptive crap and it grosses me out.

26. What was your childhood nickname?
Misti Moonshine

27. When is the last time you played the air guitar?
probably this morning when I was taking my bro to community service. Houses of the Holy came on...

28. Have you ever peeked in the opposite sexes locker room?
no

29. What's the weirdest thing you have done while driving?
hm.... Uh... i generally don't multitask while driving, so I'd have to say text messaging...

30. Have you ever bitten your toenails?
not to my recollection.

31. How do you normally eat your Oreo cookies?
with milk

33. Name something you do when you're alone that you wouldn't do in front of others?
pick my nose and pick at blackheads (gross, huh?)

36. How many drinks does it take before you get drunk?
depends on the drink. Long island? sometimes one. Rum and coke? a few... uh... it depends on the drink fo sho.

37. Why are you doing this survey?
why not?

39. Do you scrunch or fold your toilet paper?
usually scrunch.

41. Do you have any strange phobias?
I'm scared that spiders will crawl into my ears at night, so I put my hair or a blanket over my ears.

42. Have you ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?
haha, yes when I was like 2 I put the cap to a straw/sippy cup up my nose. My mom had to sit on me while my dad TRIED to pull it out with tweezers. I still remember it!

43. What is the stupidest thing you've ever done at a bar?
uh.... apparently I stomped on the owner of the Hideout's foot and fell all over the place on my 21st. I don't remember it though.

45. Have you ever called your love interest by another girl/guys name?
no!

46. Have you ever gotten caught sleeping while on a date?
lol, I don't know it it was really a date, but one of the first times Hanan came over, we watched a movie in the basement and I fell asleep and drooled on his arm.

47. Have you ever played naked twister?
no

48. Have you ever been drunk at work/school?
lol, once one of the waitresses fed me wine at work and I got tipsy...

49. Have you ever found your date's/lover's brother or sister to be hotter then Your date?
Hmm... I though Chris' brother was pretty darn cute, but he was cuter.

50. How many Bryce's do you know?
none

51. Do you own a sex toy?
no... unless chocolate "massage" oil counts as a toy.

This is what my wedding will look like:

2007-02-24T04:30:36Z

jadedsurrealism @ 2007-02-21T23:39:00

2007-02-22T04:39:58Z

I get to see my baby tomorrow! Its been two agonizing weeks... I miss him so much. Hopefully I've found what I'm looking for..........

jadedsurrealism @ 2007-02-20T23:19:00

2007-02-21T04:34:41Z

Seven Deadly Sins Survey

Wrath
Who did you last get angry with?
my brother

What is your weapon of choice?
uh... a croquet mallet

Would you hit a member of the opposite sex?
if need be

How about the same sex?
if need be

Who was the last person who got really angry at you?
hmm... i don't know

What is your pet peeve?
I have a lot... people trying too hard, people pronouncing the "t" in often, people fucking up my car, people getting in on the driver's side of my car, people leaving the price tag on their shit cuz they think it proves a point (which kind of goes back to people trying too hard), people not holding the door open for the person behind them, cashiers saying "you're welcome" when you thank them, oh gosh i could go on forever...

Do you keep grudges, or can you let them go easily?
ha. depends on if I love the person or not...

Sloth
What is one thing you're suppose to do daily that you haven't?
i don't know... exercise?

What is the latest you've ever woken up?
i don't know... there was a time when I was sick that I slept for like 3 days straight... just kept taking tylenol pm.

Name a person you've been meaning to contact, but haven't?
chelsea

What is the last lame excuse that you made?
i don't know...

Have you ever watched an infomercial all the way through?
yes

How many times did you hit the snooze button on your alarm clock this morning?
I didn't wake up to an alarm this morning

Gluttony
What is your overpriced yuppie beverage of choice?
uh, monster maybe, but i don't think thats a yuppie beverage

Are you a meat eater?
not at all

What is the greatest amount of alcohol you've had in one sitting/outing/event?
HAHAHA. yeah.

Are you comfortable with your drinking and eating habits?
yes

Do you enjoy candy and sweets?
very much so...

Which do you prefer: sweets, salty foods or spicy foods?
depends on my mood, but probably sweets

Have you ever looked at a small house pet or child and thought, "lunch"?
no

Greed
How many credit cards do you own?
two, but one was to pay off the other because it was 0 interest for a year...

If you had a million dollars, what would you do with it?
fix up my car and treat my baby lavishly

Would you rather be rich or famous?
rich

Would you accept a boring job if it meant that you would make megabucks?
yes... like i haven't had a million boring jobs before WITHOUT megabuxx...

Pride
What's one thing that you have done that you're most proud of?
hmm... i don't know... gotten scholarships for school...

What's one thing you have done that your parents are most proud of?
probably the scholarship thing... or just getting through high school and going to college period.

What thing would you like to accomplish late in your life?
have a wonderful marriage and travel the country with my sweetie

Do you get annoyed by coming in second place?
i don't know... it never happens... j/k

Have you ever entered a contest of skill, knowing you were of much higher skill than all the other competitors?
not to my recollection

Have you ever cheated to get a better score?
in high school

What did you do today that you're proud of?
started the ominous task of cleaning my room.

Lust
How many people have you seen naked (not counting movies, family, strippers, locker rooms)? five i think

How many people have seen you naked (not counting physicians, doctors, family, locker rooms, or when you were a young child)?
four

Have you ever caught yourself staring at the chest/crotch of a person of your chosen sex during a normal conversation?
only my baby

What is your favorite body part of a person of your gender choice? eyes

Have you ever had sexual encounters (including kissing/making out) with multiple persons? yes... once and it was only kissing

Have you ever been propositioned by a prostitute?
no, but i've been propositioned as a prostitute... at 9 and hilton, funny enough

Envy
What item of your friends would you most want to have for your own? Ben's '74 (the orange bus)

Who would you want to go on "Trading Spaces" with?
Pssh... who cares... they'd just fuck up my shit anyway

If you could be anyone who existed in the world, who would you be?
myself

Have you ever been cheated on?
unfortunatley

Have you ever wished you had a physical feature different from your own?
yeah... just bigger titties

What inborn trait do you see in others that you wish you had for yourself?
i don't even know...

What deadly sin...
Do you do the most often?
lust

Do you do the least often? envy

Is your favorite to act on? lust

Billy the Kid

2007-02-16T16:43:39Z

I finally got my postcard(s) from face. It surprised me that she sent me a picture of my good friend William H. Bonney... I didn't know she knew! She also sent his friend, a cowboy pig. I love my face!

I went bar hopping with my uncle last night. Now I know the Ferndale night scene, all to well. This jamaican guy tried desperately to pick me up... he said he wanted to take me to the islands... I told him that it wasn't realistic and he said reality is what you make it. I proceeded to tell him I had a boyfriend, but it did no good... He started asking weird questions about him and I gave Ben's description. Wishful thinking, right? :) All in all a good night. Karaoke bars, I wasn't drunk enough to sing though. I was driving.

Anyway... Tim cut all ties with me, sort of... He said he can't be friends with me knowing that he fucked up it being something more... It's a strange situation.

Anyway, me being a stupid girl is just that: I am still in love with Ben. We were hanging out and junk, and now he's driving to Florida and we're not supposed to talk to each other so that he can figure out how he feels about me... again. I don't know. He called me one night but it was at like 1:30am so I didn't get the call. He left a message saying he misses me and that he hopes that I'm dreaming about him... He's so conflicted. I know that I shouldn't keep falling for his shit, but its just a feeling I get... I feel like he's the one I'm supposed to be with. Maybe not forever, although it seems that way now, but I'm supposed to be with him now. I miss him a great deal, and I miss my darling face. I just hope all is well with her and Tyler... and I hope the same for me and Ben.

I've taken to counting my blessings like Ben told me to do... I think it helps. That may be why I'm supposed to be with Ben... he's supposed to show me the way. I wish I was with him right now, making love in his bus with a warm breeze blowing across my face... I love him more than life itself.

I'm sorry, Tim... I never meant to lead you on or hurt you. I really didn't know things would end up the way they did...

I'm pretty happy right now, probably because I'm living in a fantasy world...

jadedsurrealism @ 2007-02-12T14:29:00

2007-02-12T19:29:27Z

I am a stupid, stupid girl.......................

What has the world come to?

2007-02-11T05:49:52Z

South Park Me:

So this is love......

2007-02-11T05:19:37Z

jadedsurrealism @ 2007-02-05T15:34:00

2007-02-05T20:41:33Z

Me and Ben broke up. For good. Everything was going so well, and then his fat bitch mom is a bitch and I'm pretty pissed off about the whole thing...... Well, I met a new boy that I really like. We get along so well its almost scary. Ben pulled the ol' "maybe I want you back" bullshit. AGAIN. And fucked with my head yet again. Well fuck him. He's a complete asshole and I knew it the whole time. I just always paid attention to the good in him and ignored the monster that he is. His loss entirely.

Face left. I took her to the airport and almost cried. Blah. What am I going to do without her? I will have to make Tim try on prom dresses with me... He'd be down I bet. Anyway... I miss her a lot, and I'm glad to be finally rid of Ben-Polar.

Last night we went to this semi party and Tim had never driven there before so it was a touchy situation for a minute.... But here's the twisted part: I was waiting for him to flip out and throw a temper tantrum, but it never happened. It was so nice.

I think I really like this boy. We're taking things really slow. And I assume he's going to read this... damn you livejournal and the fact that I'm so accustomed to posting instead of keeping my private thoughts and feelings private....

I got a job, but I don't want it. So I'm still looking for a new one.

Two Smokes and a Snake

2007-01-12T05:40:01Z

My brother paid me two smokes and a snake to give him a ride home from jessica's. Its pretty neat, a baby corn snake. Anyway...

Me and Ben have been getting along famously and I couldn't be happier.

Revelations

2007-01-09T00:35:45Z

He had a revelation of sorts on new years, which by the way I spent with face playing guitar hero drunk as hell while he was at some warehouse with free beer. He evaluated our relationship, and he's been super happy with it. He took me to a concert the other night and got kicked out, and it took me about 20 minutes to realize it. He told me later that if he had gone with what he thought was his dream girl, she would have been so into the concert that he would have had to wait until the show was over before she noticed he was gone... that I'm his dream girl, just in a different package than what he expected. He also told me that I need to grow up and stop being cute and start being hot. I told him he went too far, that I am only being myself. And he said that he knows, and that I'm still young and that I will "grow up" soon, and I'll still be his... The relationship has just been going so well and so smoothly lately... I don't want to jinx it...

I helped face buy a car. 93 Eagle Talon DL. Gorgeous. We've been searching for a long time... I'm glad she got that one, I just hope she appreciates it as much as I do mine...

onewordsurvey

2006-12-26T18:08:44Z

You.
Can.
Only.
Type.
One.
Word.

Not as easy as you may think...

1. Where is your cell phone?
couch

2. your girlfriend/boyfriend
unpredictable

3. Your hair?:
long

4. Your mother?
stressed

5. Your father?:
funny

6. Your favorite night?:
friday

7. Your dream last night?:
him

8. Your favorite drink?:
wine

9. Your dream car?:
eclipse

10. The room you are in?
bedroom

11. Your ex?
many

12. Your fear?:
lost

13. What do you want to be in 10 years?:
happy

14. Who did you hang out with last night?:
family

15. What you're not?:
dressed

16. Muffins?:
spongy

17: One of your wish list items?:
side-skirts

18. What time is it?
one

19. The last thing you did?
myspace

20. What are you wearing?:
pajayjays

22. Your favorite book?
eugenides

23. The last thing you ate?:
chocolate

24. Your life?:
messy

25. Your mood?
good

26. Your friends?
blah

27. What are you thinking about right now?:
ben

28. your car?
eclipse

29. What are you doing at the moment?:
survey

30. Your summer?:
fun

31. Your relationship status?:
taken

32. What is on your tv?:
soaps

33. Last time you laughed?
earlier

34. Last time you cried?:
recently

35. School?:
productive

*******************

Christmas was great. I got spark plugs and filters and junk for my car. Happy day. I got to see Ben on Christmas Eve. We went out to breakfast and had holiday sex. At his new house! He lives so much closer now, it's nice. We may go out today... I want to do something where we are not having sex or talking about "us" because we haven't done that in a while.

Christmas Shopping

2006-12-16T22:26:10Z

We went out to eat and then watched Charlotte's Web (on VHS) last night. Then we got up and went christmas shopping after he made me breakfast. He got the 74 running again.

He would kill me if he knew I posted those... but I just wanna show my baby off. :)

Sold that POS

2006-12-12T09:50:52Z

Yeah. I posted on myspace classifieds and craigs list to sell that 95 aspire thats just been stinkin up the backyard since I got my dream car and someone took the hook! $150. Dude came and looked at it and left, then called back later and asked if I would take $150 for it and I couldn't refuse. Lol, the back brake was seized, so he hammered it out and drove her off... a little sad to see her go because he told me how he was going to remove my artwork, but shit happens.

Me and Ben are getting along pretty well. He got mad earlier because I put my stress on him, but I apologized, and everything was ok. I bought him a christmas present with the money but I saved the reciept because I'm not sure if its exactly what he wants. He gets laid off on wednesday. Maybe that means we get to spend more time together. I guess we'll see...

jadedsurrealism @ 2006-12-11T09:49:00

2006-12-11T14:49:09Z

We have sort of reconnected... and have decided to give it a shot and see if things work out with each other.

Last night...

2006-12-09T18:46:24Z

He told me that he was thinking that maybe he made a mistake... again. I told him that I didn't want to talk about it, that I didn't want to wreck a good time. I just want things to happen naturally... you know? If we spend this time together and things go well, then we can talk about it, but I don't want to jump into things and get crushed AGAIN. I might go over there again tonight. I just don't think its the time to talk about "us."

He got the house! He just has to get insurance and he's hoping to move in before Christmas.

Learning

2006-12-04T15:24:05Z

I've learned a lot in the past week, believe it or not...

I learned that the guy with the pretty eyes only likes me when he's drunk. I learned that I wont settle for just anyone, aka the ghetto guy whom I had a half hour long conversation with and really liked... and I've learned that the way I was trying to get Ben back was all wrong. I went over there on saturday night and we had a great time. No drama. We sat and ate popcorn and watched tv. We went out and got frosties and fries. We cuddled and had really good sex. We talked about life and our lives and junk. He gave me money for my prescription and bought me oil and put it in my car. All in all, a wonderful time. I want to show him me instead of crazy girl who wants him back. And I think I'm accomplishing that. He knows how I feel. I'm just hoping that he can see what we did and could still have, and ultimately wants to give it a real try. Again. I miss him.

confusion

2006-11-21T18:28:22Z

Ben and I keep going back and forth. I was moving on... I met a boy who I have so much in common with. We got drunk and hung out and kissed and I had a really good time with him. Then Ben called me the next day and told me that he was having second thoughts. Again. And its been going back and forth ever since. I love Ben with all of my heart, and he knows I would never ever ever in my right mind do anything to hurt him. But I did. I did something so terrible that its the deciding factor keeping us apart right now. I know that if he could just get past it we would be on the road to happiness right now.

I understand that there's the factor of thinking about it and the reactions from friends and family. But he needs to think about the future. He needs to realize that we could be happy. Together. Once he sees that, it will be cake. I don't know what to say or do... I had given up. I was moving on, and now I'm back at square one trying to show him how good we are for each other. I need resolution. I don't even know if this is what I want anymore... I keep going back just to get my heart broken again. But I'd do it a million zillion more times just to have that day in between where I was safe in his arms...

jadedsurrealism @ 2006-11-18T12:04:00

2006-11-18T17:04:42Z

he broke up with me again.

i feel worthless.